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Stand Up. Stand Out.
Sometimes I wish I was like everybody else… actually…..I’m happy that I’m not.
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Regaining pain.
Then…
I walk…but I dont feel my legs moving….
I breath..but I don’t feel my heart pounding….
And Now…
It’s starting to hit me. My legs are weak and my heart is weary…but it feels good to feel these growing pains….once again.
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Puzzle of Life.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity.
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Phileo.
So I decided to go home last night since a) I had to do laundry b) I wanted to see my parents c) I can’t spend time with my mom on mother’s day =(
Lately my mom’s been persistently asking me what I want to become but most importantly what I want to do in life. Of course as an obedient daughter I would respond and say “a dentist so you and appa would be proud.” Then she would ask again….”what do YOU want to do?” I never knew that my mom could look right through and see that I had been lying to her all at long. She looked me in the eyes and said “Grace…you do what makes you happy and that will make us happy” I know that all parents say that and don’t really mean it but when she said it I knew that she genuinely meant that. Recently my mom’s been attending school and during the night she volunteers at a nursing home as a translator/listener/helper. She tells me stories about her patients and how they don’t remember anything due to Alzheimer’s. Not only does she help them go bathroom and translate for them but she takes the time to pray for each and everyone of them. My mother does not do this for money or just to waste time but simple because this is what she’s been longing to do all her life. She soon hopes to travel around the world and pray for the people she meets as well. When she told me I knew that my mom would support me and love me in everything that I’ll pursue and do. And theres no greater feeling than that when you know someone loves you and understands you in any given circumstance.
Phileo = Love
(A cool picture I found-if you look carefully you can see the heart inside the bible)
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Although I may be a nobody in this world at least I know I am somebody in the kingdom of God
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It’s been awhile since I’ve publicized my thoughts but in doing so I hope I can be more open to sharing both my struggles and joys in life. I’m really thankful to have spent this weekend away from school and away from the usual routines of an ordinary student. It’s amazing to see how easy it is to pray at a church than to say a classroom or your apartment. Just on the concept of relocating yourself can one find themselves in atmosphere of comfort and ease. Recently I’ve been craving to go to some random place where I can be alone in midst of God and only him. AND yes I crave other things than just food haha. I’ve spent way too much energy, time, and effort in trying to impress the world. But its definitely time to realize that the only pair of eyes that is worthy of judgement is the one in the kingdom of heaven. It may be nearly impossible to say that my peers opinions and attitudes towards me won’t affect me..but I can say that I will no longer let it over-ride God’s outlook on my life…since that should be the only one that matters anyways.
Even though I am broken…I am unashamed and most importantly…I am overflowing with hope.
It’s time to see the bigger picture.
( I dont know if you can see it but pass the mess of random things there’s a half open door wuth beams of light surrounding it) Taken April 5 2009
